Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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