Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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