who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize