I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
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If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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