Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You can't special order awesome
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
