i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he thought i was a dude.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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