just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
