The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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