did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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