So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
