What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
