I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize