How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Barsexuality is the new black.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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