ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize