somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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