i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
