Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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