It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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