your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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