whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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