remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
