have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Still dying that you shit outside
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
