another moral hangover. fuck.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize