just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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