So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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