She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
