turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
