a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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