It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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