Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
