I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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