I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
