She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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