During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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