i need an iv and a liver transplant
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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