what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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