Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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