That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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