Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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