I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm getting married
To pizza
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize