so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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