Can Purell be used as lube?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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