What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize