He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
