you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
