i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
