No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
