Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize