No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
