I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm having to shit out rocks
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
