so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
