shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
