Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
