Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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