You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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