You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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