a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
