every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
