He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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