its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
