he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just want nice things and good sex
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
