If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You were trust falling into bushes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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